Does anyone really read those safety information cards? Could the average dim-witted passenger open an exit in less than 5 seconds during an emergency? These are just a fraction of the questions I have. The joke is, that the second passengers step onboard they lose complete control of their bladders and their brains. A perfectly healthy, highly educated, passenger could board a plane and within seconds forget everything they've learned in life; I've seen passengers struggle to tie their shoes and them pick up a news paper and read it, UP-SIDE-DOWN, for several minutes. But the craziness starts before they even board. Passengers will sit in a well lit, heated terminal for hours with comfortable chairs and bathrooms with running WATER and flushing toilets only to rush on an over sold plane with uncomfortable seats and lavatories that barely have the FAA says is required. And then before we even take off they BEG me to use it.

I guess what I'm saying is don't be a typical passenger. Be aware of where you are and plan ahead.

And by the way, if your upset with the airline youre flying don't try to get back at them by asking for 2 drinks at a time. It only makes you look like a jerk.